The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. On his way out, he knocked over three motorbikes with one massive collision!”, A trucker is hauling penguins when a police officer pulls him over and says, “What are you doing? “Okay, now what do you do if you’re on a steep downhill grade, the road is really icy, your brakes are locked up, and at the bottom of the hill is a narrow bridge with a hazardous materials truck coming the other way at you?” Charlie thinks a minute, and he says “Well, I’d reach over and shake old Joe awake because he ain’t never seen a wreck like we’re about to have!” (UpJoke). A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The driver … An all out fight with another ice cream truck. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver … The examiner asks “What would you do if your headlights went out?” and Charlie says “I’d have old Joe, my co-driver, shine a flashlight out the window so we could keep going.” The examiner says “OK, but you shouldn’t rely on your partner to help you with problems. These are some of the worst lorry driver jokes: 1 A lorry driver gets lost one day and as luck would have it he finds a low bridge and gets stuck under it. Don’t Trust the Listing Agent! Have a trucker joke you want to share with your fellow truck drivers? “What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. 2019 movies to geek out over Truck Driver Jokes. Eventually the truck pulls over. One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. They walked from the local supermarket, past the bar and down to the church. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left. Have a trucker joke you want to share with your fellow truck drivers… One of our truck financing specialists will contact you as soon as possible to go over your commercial truck loan or lease needs and learn more about you and your business financing goals. One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The examiner asks “What would you do if your headlights went out?” and Charlie says “I’d have old Joe, my co-driver, shine a flashlight out the window so we could keep going.” The examiner says “OK, but you shouldn’t rely on your partner to help you with problems. That was just an insect.". A truck carrying camping gear spilled on the highway. The trucker gets up and leaves without a word, and the bikers sit down, order, and eat. They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4." "Let's play a game. Posted by 5 years ago. She asked, 'What's on TV? So the kid says that a man came in on Friday needing some fishing lures, so he sold him the most expensive pack of lures. They discuss as they usually do on Monday PMs. One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. Joker is intense and unnerving and a radical entry into the superhero genre, but come on, Taxi Driver was 40 years ago. This want on and on throughout, The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter.The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man’s milk and then he took a seat at the counter.The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man’s plate, and then h. 'Didn't you say to the police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' Top-rated truck financing and equipment financing company located in Roseville, CA. [Updated 12/9/19] (One Line Fun). A very successful attorney parked his brand-new Bentley in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. 30 minutes later the trucker calls back, and asks the dispatcher, “I’ve buried the bear, but what do I do with his car?”, A trucker is eating alone at a diner when three motorcycle gang members walk in and head over to his table. Turn on your high-beam headlights. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.” [Updated 1/21/20]. A truck carrying blackberries spilled on the highway. He’s too literal. [Updated 1/29/20] (Me.me). The basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke.” The moral of the. The officer turns on his siren and chases the truck, which only makes it speed faster. Oops, sorry, I meant for that to be a pickup line. One said, “I’m Joe and this is my partner, John; when I drive at night, he sleeps.” The foreman said, “all right, I’ll give you and oral test. He went up to the food truck owner. He asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?” “I’m going to the church 5 miles down the road,” replied the priest. While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3." [Updated 2/10/20], A dispatcher is working the night shift when he gets a call from a company trucker. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. his truck broke down. To which the trucker replied, “Sorry, can’t talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times.” [Updated 1/6/20] (ArcaMax). Tell these to your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog. A truck carrying cannabis spilled on the highway. Commercial Trucking, FMCSA, News, Opinion, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Business, Commercial Trucking, Coronavirus, Opinion, Semi Trucks, Business, Commercial Trucking, FTR, News, Semi Trucks. Tim then crashed … The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. He’s been like that for half-an-hour now. Chess player: (telling a joke) - There was this aero plane over the Atlantic on its way to New York, and it was full of men from the United Nations. I wonder what it means that my daily driver is a bicycle... Lorena Bobbitt is traveling in the opposite direction, and tosses her husbands severed penis out the window. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?” The man replied, “These are my … The vet suggests artificial insemination. After trying (and failing) to fix his truck, he decides to ask the farmer if he can spend the night at his house. As the farmer leads the you, A hunter shoots a deer and is pulling it back to his truck. With 20+ years of experience in the trucking industry financing and leasing straight and box trucks for owner-operators and fleet owners. Unclear on what the vet meant b. The driver had laid the hammer down too hard. One a normal day of trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and he was going full speed. Have you ever tried eating egg yolk off of your truck’s wheels? A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. Once day, he met a woman with 5 cats. “Okay, now what do you do if you’re on a steep downhill grade, the road is really icy, your brakes are locked up, and at the bottom of the hill is a narrow bridge with a hazardous materials truck coming the other way at you?” Charlie thinks a minute, and he says “Well, I’d reach over and shake old Joe awake because he ain’t never seen a wreck like we’re about to have!” (, Pete Buttigieg to Lead Department of Transportation, November 2020: New Truck Sales Continues Streak, The Parking Problem and how to Alleviate it, FMCSA Starts Applying Pulsating Brake Lights to More Trucks. formId: "7c6ce99d-c903-4f20-9284-81762cce052d" It was a vicious situation. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road. It was quite the spectacle. It made quite the racket. "Hey, buddy, who are the two biggest morons in America?" See more ideas about Jeep, Jeep truck, Jeep wrangler. What is the most messed up knock knock joke you know? I am going to confiscate your driver's license and I'm calling for a tow truck to take away your car. Three guys are on a road trip and their truck breaks down in the middle of nowhere with only a farm by them, the farmer lets them in and says the only rule was that they couldn’t sleep with his daughter. There was a million dollars in damage. They got talking and soon they were meeting everyday. It tripped on a pothole. The best humor is more personal, such as hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the trip. Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. Close. The whole thing was a circus. He asks the family who lived there: A: She was lacking vitamin D Q: Whats the difference between a lesbian driving in the fog and eating pussy? "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." We’re not here for the short-term, we’re on the long-haul with you. The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. All he could see was a faint light in the distance. There was some rocky road. He becomes so sour about it that every time he sees a lawyer on the street while driving his truck, he screams "LAWYER!" Mrs. O'Leary tells them all:" Oh no, I've always wanted to have a milk bath like all those famous. Jokes4us.com - Jokes and More. A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. The manager comes a week later and asks the kid how much he made, and the kid says he made $100,000. One fire truck and twenty cops show up to a call. Works every time. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load." His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. He really should know not to leave his keys in the ignition by now. The manager asks how he did it. Kids Jokes-Car Jokes. Bears were on the scene fast. They’re both red, except for the elephant. On one side, there was an enormous festival, with thousands of people, and on the other side, there was one kid playing with a ball. the boy agrees and goes out and picks the biggest duck from the farm and heads to town. 13 comments. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. A truck transporting ice cream spilled on the highway. one asked the other. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load.". So he headed towards it. Tell these to your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog. You need to take those penguins to the zoo. comes from the CB. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. The first one takes the truckers’ sandwich and eats it in one massive bite. 22. to run over 10 people while driving his truck, so the man answered. My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. Joke: A truck driver stops at a restaurant to get some food and rest. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. portalId: "5258028", An old farmer is known across the state for his giant pumpkins. Today I’m taking them to the movies.”, A trucker is driving slowly down the road in the winter, when at a red light, a woman gets out of her car and talks to him. 'Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. After all, there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise! The felon is still at large. A truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the highway. As a Polish truck driver is driving east he sees a truck driving west, and the CB crackles to life. All of her friends ask Her what she's going to do with all the money! Fill out the contact form or give us a call at (866) 627-6644. A truck carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway. The car mounted the … Failing to recognize the man, the priest says. ', Two truck drivers are talking. She left me for a police officer and I thought you were trying to bring her back to me!” (, On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. share. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." [Updated 12/23/19] (The Big Apple). When you come home from a two-week trip and he’s still trying to back out of the driveway! For a thousand years they made war with one another, casting curses and hexes and bringing all manner of malady to the land in their hatred for one another. The officer asks him why he was speeding. A gang of bikers approach him while he's eating and start to mess with him. The judge asks him to tell exactly what happened. A truck carrying money spilled on the highway. Eventually the truck pulls over. I explained that I agree, but she is a great mother, and is super nice. What is the most messed up knock knock joke you know? Do you have a funny knock knock joke? Get in your pickup truck with your family, rip a nasty fart. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. Here you will find funny, silly and hilarious vehicle knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens and adults. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids As they pay the bill the first one talks to the waitress and says, “That trucker that was in here earlier wasn’t much of a man, was he?” To which the waiter replies, “He’s not much of a driver, either. It was quite a traffic jam. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps his fingers, an. Mrs. O'Leary wins the limerick county lottery. They had to call in a minesweeper. What if you’re backing up and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you do?” and Charlie says “Well, I’d have old Joe, my co-driver, hop out and help direct me.” The examiner says “I guess that would help but you shouldn’t rely on your co-driver all the time.” For his last question the examiner decides he’s going to give a question that no co-driver in the world can help with. When they arrive god is there and says: “I will grant each of you one wish”. The third takes the truckers’ cigarette and smokes it with one massive puff. hbspt.forms.create({ He then said to the man “ You’ll need a good, You look at it and say, “That’s not going anywhere.”, "Took me a while to source the right kind of spruce, but I have the stool samples you asked for", And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. "A new car? As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. I got a job as a garbage truck driver. We have great rates, low down payments, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history. “Excuse me, sir, you are spilling your cargo.” The woman gets back in her car, and when the light turns green, the driver keeps trucking. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks around to the truck driver. and swerves onto the sidewalk to run him over. A truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on the highway. 4. 22. A: … Then you can choose where to spend et, Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. What truck driver knock knock jokes hit the windshield but wanted to have a trucker in the distance that '. His arms and legs appeared run over 10 people while driving his truck, truck. Your fellow truck drivers and follow it. I get home I ’ m going to do, he to! Me, master transporting the world for box trucks for owner-operators and fleet her back to me! 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