In “Talking to Strangers” he asks why we are “so bad” at understanding people we haven’t met before. It’s the antidote to fear, ” writes Kio Stark in her book, When Strangers Meet. But we can have a hard time recognizing a truth teller, too. The best omegle alternative. We think we can easily see into the hearts of others based on the flimsiest of. And we stop believing only when our doubts and misgivings rise to the point where we can no longer explain them away.”, “In Boston right around the same time, another criminologist did a similar study: Half the crime in the city came from 3.6 percent of the city’s blocks. Isolation. If I can convince you of one thing in this book, let it be this: Strangers are not easy.”, “Because we do not know how to talk to strangers, what do we do when things go awry with strangers? The Lady Vanishes. Pick up a book and read this week. But on top of those errors we add another, which pushes our problem with strangers into crisis. But we’re terrible at it (p. 166).”, “The death of Sandra Bland is what happens when a society does not know how to talk to strangers.”, “this is the assumption of transparency in action. And every place they looked, they saw the same thing: Crime in every city was concentrated in a tiny number of street segments. Another rainstorm had started before Oscar reached the shoddy wood and plaster building that passed as his region's only train station. Chapter 13. ull) is a great way to meet new friends, even while practicing social distancing. With Emerald you can talk to strangers from around the world for free. We are nuanced and complex and enigmatic. We jump at the chance to judge strangers. Episode 2. Definitely recommended, talking to strangers is one of the most important things you do and it can even save your life. We often can’t tell when a stranger is lying to us (“Puzzle Number One”), and meeting a stranger face-to-face doesn’t necessarily help our understanding of who they are (“Puzzle Number Two”). Without going into detail, that chapter could only have been written by someone who's buried his head in the sand over the past five years or so. To illustrate, he presents the story of Amanda Knox, the American student in Italy who was convicted of killing her roommate in 2007 and later cleared of the crime. We would never do that to. Seattle. Talking to Strangers is about why we are so bad at that act of translation.” ― Malcolm Gladwell, Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know. Gladwell himself seems to realize as much. Belief is not the absence of doubt. We will never know the whole truth. Buy the Hardcover Book Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know by Malcolm Gladwell at Indigo.ca, Canada's largest bookstore. He stood beneath a wooden shelter, attempting to coax an … clues. His case studies include the convicted pedophile Jerry Sandusky, the double agent Ana Montes, the Ponzi-schemer Bernie Madoff and — because Gladwell is nothing if not ambitious — Adolf Hitler. Weisburd decided to look wherever he could: New York. There’s this thing going on, in places that are so different.’” Weisburd refers to this as the Law of Crime Concentration.6 Like suicide, crime is tied to very specific places and contexts. Those who are not part of existing social hierarchies are free to blurt out inconvenient truths or question things the rest of us take for granted. The detainee (referred to by his initials, KSM) was interrogated by the psychologists James Mitchell and Bruce Jessen. In chapter six, titled The “Friends” Fallacy, Gladwell writes of facial analysis applied to an episode of the television show “Friends.” There was a mismatch between her pleas of innocence and her cold, oddball demeanor. His family was Israeli, so he thought Tel Aviv. How many of the crises and controversies I have described would have been prevented had we taken those lessons to heart?”, “In Russian folklore there is an archetype called yurodivy, or the “Holy Fool.” The Holy Fool is a social misfit—eccentric, off-putting, sometimes even crazy—who nonetheless has access to the truth. This book is the very best entry point for thinking about this topic. We’d love your help. Chapter Two: Getting to Know der Führer. • Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About People We Don’t Know by Malcolm Gladwell is published by Allen Lane (£20). Saigon 1965. In “Talking to Strangers,” there are glimpses of this mildly chastened Gladwell, more skeptical of theory’s explanatory powers and struggling to break free. It’s a gentle directive for those of “us” making our way through the quagmire with Gladwell as our friendly guide. When he shared the idea for this project with his British editor, she apparently said, “Lots of third rails! Talking To Strangers Summary. Same thing. Immigration and Assimilation. ), and you can stop a chat at any time. Click the "I'm not a robot" box and get started. Cincinnati. And from that follows a second cautionary note: we need to accept that the search to understand a stranger has real limits. Season 4. When you use Omegle, we pick someone else at random and let you talk one-on-one. Encinia’s main problem was his “highly tuned curiosity ticklers.”, This might be classic Gladwell, but it comes across as jarringly incongruous — especially now, when there seems to be a growing awareness that violence and trauma aren’t necessarily the best fodder for puzzles, and that “broader ethical questions” can’t be neatly cordoned off from the issues at hand. Nonetheless is actually the wrong word. You believe someone because you don’t have enough doubts about them.”, “To assume the best about another is the trait that has created modern society. Sheets of water hammered down. If we tread carelessly, it will crumple under our feet. 34 mins. It’s an outrageous, heretical claim. Encinia was trained to be overly suspicious and was “terrified” of Bland, Gladwell says — apparently taking the officer’s statements at face value. But the alternative - to abandon trust as a defense against predation and deception - is worse.”, “The right way to talk to strangers is with caution and humility.”, “The conviction that we know others better than they know us—and that we may have insights about them they lack (but not vice versa)—leads us to talk when we would do well to listen and to be less patient than we ought to be when others express the conviction that they are the ones who are being misunderstood or judged unfairly. Make Your Home Among Strangers: Chapter 12 Summary & Analysis Next. Weisburd decided to try a foreign city, somewhere entirely different—culturally, geographically, economically. Strangers-chat.com is the best website to chat with strangers, meet people online, random chat with girls and talk to strangers for free. To order a copy go to guardianbookshop.com or … So, enjoy the latest feature of text chat with strangers and have fun! With Emerald you meet strangers from around the world at … The Talking to Strangers audiobook is essentially a super-sized podcast episode, with excerpts from Gladwell’s recorded interviews, archival audio, … "Don't talk to strangers" is the advice long given to children by parents of all classes and races. It’s the act of depressed people at a particular moment of extreme vulnerability and in combination with a particular, readily available lethal means.”, “Defaulting to truth is a problem. But, again, I almost put the book down, this time while reading the chapter on the Brock Turner sexual assault case. In “Talking to Strangers” he asks why we are “so bad” at understanding people we haven’t met before. As Gladwell puts it, “We are bad lie detectors in those situations when the person we’re judging is mismatched.”. “A young woman and a young man meet at a party,” Gladwell writes, “then proceed to tragically misunderstand each other’s intentions — and they’re drunk.” This is a bizarre way to describe a situation that ended with a conscious Turner being found on top of an unconscious Miller behind a dumpster. A chapter on the Stanford rape case from 2015 is a prime example. black sites and subjected to “enhanced interrogation techniques,” Gladwell is careful to keep the reader on track: “But let us leave aside those broader ethical questions for a moment, and focus on what the interrogation of K.S.M. Gladwell revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, the suicide of Sylvia Plath, the Jerry Sandusky pedophilia scandal at Penn State University, and the death of Sandra Bland—throwing our understanding of these and other stories into doubt. Well-spoken, confident people with a firm handshake who are friendly and engaging are seen as believable. TALKING TO STRANGERS WHAT WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE DON'T KNOW. I love it!” Gladwell has a well-honed method for handling live wires, which involves encasing them in psychological and sociological theory and then proceeding to bend them to his will. He had pulled down her dress, removed her underwear and assaulted her with his fingers. 35 mins. In other words: We have a hard time with truth tellers who look suspicious and liars who look sincere. Refresh and try again. The right way to talk to strangers is with caution and humility.”, “The first set of mistakes we make with strangers—the default to truth and the illusion of transparency—has to do with our inability to make sense of the stranger as an individual. We blame the stranger.”, “We start by believing. A jury convicted Brock Turner, a freshman, of sexually assaulting Chanel Miller (who recently revealed her name to the public and whose memoir will be published later this month). : What Happens When the Stranger Is a Terrorist?,” he knows that his descriptions of waterboarding might be distracting. But the. Familial Duty and Betrayal. We would never do that to ourselves, of course. Talk with strangers TALK is your app for your conversations. Theory can provide a handy framework, transforming the messy welter of experience into something more legible, but it can also impose a narrative that’s awkward, warped or even damaging. His 2000 book “The Tipping Point” endorsed the “broken windows” theory that aggressive policing of minor infractions can prevent more serious crimes; years later, as debates about mass incarceration came to the fore, he conceded that the theory was “oversold,” and that he regretted his part in promoting it. Gladwell deems what happened between them that night a case of “transparency failure on steroids.”. In a chapter called “K.S.M. TALKING TO STRANGERS What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know By Malcolm Gladwell. Also available on web site: online catalogs, secure online ordering, excerpts from new books. This is where Gladwell’s insistence on theory can be distorting, rather than clarifying. Free shipping and pickup in store on eligible orders. Gladwell says we have a hard time recognizing a liar because we’re prone to what the psychologist Tim Levine calls a “default to truth”: We are social creatures who tend to trust others. The Big Man Can't Shoot. Carlos Doesn't Remember. Talking to Strangers is a powerful examination of our interactions with strangers—and why they often go wrong. We do not understand the importance of the context in which the stranger is operating.”, “The Holy Fool is a truth-teller because he is an outcast. But the alternative—to abandon trust as a defense against predation and deception—is worse.”, “Today we are now thrown into contact all the time with people whose assumptions, perspectives, and backgrounds are different from our own. You can make the chat rooms, you can invite your friends and you can talk about any topic you wish. Predators have been known to use Omegle, so please be careful. Chapter 9: KSM – What Happens When the Stranger is a Terrorist. Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don't Know by Malcolm Gladwell Season 3. The people who were wrong about Hitler were the ones who had talked with him for hours.”, “We think we can easily see into the hearts of others based on the flimsiest of clues. But, again, I almost put the book down, this time while reading the chapter on the Brock Turner sexual assault case. But not here. The Holy Fool is a truth-teller because he is an outcast. ourselves, of course. Home. Vote today from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. (EDT) on the Vogue Instagram account to determine what happens in Chapter 11. The “truth” about Amanda Knox or Jerry Sandusky or KSM is not some hard and shiny object that can be extracted if only we dig deep enough and look hard enough. It’s tough to ignore the problematic elements of Talking to Strangers. Whether his subject is success (“Outliers”), snap judgments (“Blink”), the underdog’s advantage (“David and Goliath”) or the outsize effects of tiny changes (“The Tipping Point”), every anecdote, every story, gets folded into a Big Idea. The thing we want to learn about a stranger is fragile. 7 likes. All Quotes Without going into detail, that chapter could only have been written by someone who's buried his head in the sand over the past five years or so. Talking to Strangers is a classically Gladwellian intellectual adventure, a challenging and controversial excursion through history, psychology, and scandals taken straight from the news. Start! Talking to Strangers is about why we are so bad at that act of translation.”, “The closest we have to Holy Fools in modern life are whistleblowers. Pronin calls this phenomenon the “illusion of asymmetric insight.” She writes: The conviction that we know others better than they know us—and that we may have insights about them they lack (but not vice versa)—leads us to talk when we would do well to listen and to be less patient than we ought to be when others express the conviction that they are the ones who are being misunderstood or judged unfairly.”, “Pronin calls this phenomenon the “illusion of asymmetric insight.” She writes: The conviction that we know others better than they know us—and that we may have insights about them they lack (but not vice versa)—leads us to talk when we would do well to listen and to be less patient than we ought to be when others express the conviction that they are the ones who are being misunderstood or judged unfairly.”, “The people who were right about Hitler were those who knew the least about him personally. Weisburd’s experiences in the 72nd Precinct and in Minneapolis are not idiosyncratic. But instead of getting bogged down in “broader ethical questions,” we need to keep our focus trained on the “two puzzles” (more on those in a bit). To order a copy … Episode 1. • Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know is published by Allen Lane (£30). or Log In. Despite overwhelming evidence pointing to another culprit, Italian law enforcement officers were immediately convinced that Knox was guilty because she didn’t act like the prototypical grieving friend. 41 mins. Episode 5. Deep into Malcolm Gladwell’s “Talking to Strangers,” his first book in six years, lies a precise arrangement of words that could function as a Rorschach test — a sentence that will strike you as reassuring if you love his best-selling books or exasperating if you don’t. Episode 4. Season 2. In “Talking to Strangers,” he uses theory like a cudgel on sensitive material. It’s a fair point, if a fairly obvious one, but Gladwell leads up to this moment by dispensing suggestive morsels of theory, like a trail of bread crumbs; his italicized conclusions are designed to hit us with the force of revelation when it finally dawns on us how everything fits together. The harder we work at getting strangers to reveal themselves, the more elusive they become; Reader’s note: This section was about U.S. military intelligence trying to use information extraction techniques on KSM, a widely-known terrorist against America. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Lena Dunham’s Verified Strangers, Chapter Seven: Where ... over 50 minutes without stopping or even talking. meet new people. Sherman looked in Kansas City, Dallas. “I said, ‘Oh my God. Indeed, the biases documented here may create a barrier to the type of exchanges of information, and especially to the type of careful and respectful listening, that can go a long way to attenuating the feelings of frustration and resentment that accompany interpersonal and intergroup conflict.”, “The thing we want to learn about a stranger is fragile. “Talking to people who are different from us can be radically transformative. Watch The Trials of Life - 10 - Talking to Strangers - Educational documentaries on Dailymotion To preorder a copy of Talking to Strangers and check out Malcolm Gladwell's book tour, visit www.gladwellbooks.com . But then someone throws a stone at the image and the facade cracks, revealing the face of Satan.”, “they would have worried for my soul. Ahead of Talking to Strangers‘ release (it arrives Tuesday), EW spoke to Gladwell about putting it together, why it’s a perfect book for 2019, and how podcasting changed his approach to writing. We tend to judge people’s honesty based on their demeanor. Welcome back. Season 5. In what universe is this the result of a tragic misunderstanding? Here is a summary excerpt: We have strategies for dealing with strangers that are deeply flawed, but they are also socially […] As Gladwell notices of someone else’s theory, one he’s trying to counter with his own: “If only things were that simple.”, Who’s Lying to Us and Who’s Telling the Truth? And that means that when you confront the stranger, you have to ask yourself where and when you’re confronting the stranger—because those two things powerfully influence your interpretation of who the stranger is.”, “We have a default to truth: our operating assumption is that the people we are dealing with are honest.”, “Respect for others requires a complicated calculation in which one party agrees to moderate their own desires, to consider the longer-term consequences of their own behavior, to think about something other than the thing right in front of them.”, “The paradox of talking to strangers: we need to talk to them. In his strenuous bids for novelty, he has to minimize existing explanations of Encinia as a racist and a bully (“we can do better”), concluding instead that the best way to understand Encinia is as “the police officer who does not default to truth.”. Kio Stark in her book, when Strangers meet independently reviewed book through our site, we earn affiliate... 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